I See All

My name is Brett, and these are things I find.

Jul 18

Jul 14





A friendly reminder that Evas are fucking terrifying.

Too many people only seem to appreciate the Evas as “mecha” when they are in fact 100% monster.

Evangelion is a series about titanic Frankensteinian abominations forced to defend the earth from cosmic horrors.

There isn’t even one “robot” in it not even nowhere

It’s an awesome revelation when they explain the armor isn’t to protect them- It’s to cage them.

I think its just as horrifying to remember that 14 year old kids are literally drilled into the necks of these things and control them somehow.

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Jul 7


i will reblog this as many times as i can in hopes of making it a post everyone on tumblr sees at least once 

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are penguins even real omfg

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Jul 1

Jun 29


i made food for my sons they liked it but they were also very frightened because im a violent housewife„, a tsundere bitch

I was there and I don’t believe this for a second

Jun 26




in 1990, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles appeared on “The Oprah Winfrey Show” to promote their Pizza Hut album, “Coming Out of Their Shells.” My mom recorded it on a VHS tape for me, and labeled it “TURTLES ON OPRAH.” That VHS tape sat in my entertainment center for over a decade, before getting popped into a VCR one evening in high school when me and my friends were bored. 

Everything changed.

This is 43 minutes of nostalgic ’90s insanity. Oprah Winfrey, trying her hardest to wrangle an audience of 9 year olds that JUST want to see the Turtles fight — even though the Turtles keep telling them that they are done with violence. There are dance numbers, awkward questions, and a grown woman wearing a Turtles costume just sitting in the audience, unexplained.

As far as I know, no other copy of this exists. I have never found it online, and all I’ve seen on YouTube is a video of the final ten minutes, with a warped aspect ratio. I digitized this around 2003 to put on VCD’s for my friends. I just discovered the file. I just uploaded it to YouTube.

Everything has changed again.

Dear everyone who is afraid to sell out, one time Oprah had to interview the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles about their Pizza Hut album and musical tour, and she turned out just fine.

Wardriver96! YOU MUST SEE THIS

Jun 25















Click HERE To See All The Starbucks Secret Menu Items

What have you done only the white Girls were suppose to know this

Do you realize how much we, the people that have to make these drinks, hate everyone single one of you who orders these??!!?!?!? Imagine if you will you have two blenders, twenty drinks (each one specially made) and multiple people yelling at you for not moving fast enough, screaming their drink isn’t made to their standard and how no matter what you do, everyone is unhappy and you end up with milk in your shoes. This is why we despise people who think this secret Starbucks menu was a good idea

While I understand that Starbucks can be a pretty stressful job and when it’s crowded, it sucks hardcore, I don’t think making customers feel bad that they order things that you guys can make for them is okay.

Yeah don’t be a douche starbucks worker person. You signed up for that job. Just quit if it’s so bad

So because we were trained how to make drinks on our menu it’s okay for people to start having us make things that we weren’t trained on, that aren’t on our menu? okay. THAT is the problem. that we’ve made it clear we don’t even know what these drinks are, that we don’t even have some of these ingredients and that it ruins our repeatable drink routine and then WE get complained to that it’s taking too long to make things, but people shrug it off and continue to order drinks that we don’t have the recipe to. NOT that we don’t like people wanting to order customized drinks. and without even a “sorry this is going to hold up the line” but we will get a “um excuse what’s taking so freaking loong” but no one cares. oh well. 
sure i can quit, but I’ve been there for 2 years, before this stupid fucking article was put online, and absolutely hate the idea of having to start over new somewhere. especially when I’ve come to know all my coworkers as friends now and i have difficulty adjusting to new places. there are plenty of people working places they can’t stand but quitting is not the solution when the employees and business weren’t the problem.
i’ve never been treated so cruelly by customers at a job before, how is anyone surprised that starbucks employees are starting to complain were not god damn machines we’re people. gosh just got suck it up though!

I feel dumber after reading that. Your job is not hard. You don’t even scratch the surface of “stressful”.

It’s not hard to remember a few ingredients in addition to the thing you’ve been trained to make. If it is, there is this magical thing called paper. Write it down. Takes 3 more seconds. Waiters at restaurants keep track of how things are done that way.

Holy. Shit.

LOOOOL as a partner and reading what that person wrote… Oh god. Shut your bitchin’. 9/10 of the people ordering off the secret menu are high schoolers/kids. If you’re getting irritated by the secret menu, fuck it up on purpose. It’s not like they really know exactly what it tastes like.

Spit in the drinks of all of these people, baristas.

Holy shit, is it that fucking difficult to make paying customers a drink that might not be on the fucking menu?!

Yes, shut the fuck up you spoiled fucking idiots who have probably never worked a day in your life hooooly shit this post is filled with so much stupidity

i sense a lot of worker-hostility in this comment chain

dude i get stressed just LOOKING at the starbucks workers on my college campus good lord everyone in this post has gotta be like 15

I’m actually 22 and a partner. And my argument was pretty much what a previous commenter said. We are not trained on how to make these ‘secret menu’ drinks. We will never be trained on how to make them. It is not part of our job description. 
Yes, it IS frustrating to make these from time to time. ESPECIALLY when you get a line wrapping around your store, and out to the street (yes, this happens a lot during the summer) of little teenage girls and boys who want to customize their drink from this ‘secret menu’.
For the most part, we don’t mind making them. We will laugh at you, because the whole idea is really fucking stupid. But we will make them to the best of our ability. 
HOWEVER, if we do NOT know the recipe off the top of our heads, you had better come prepared. We will not always have the syrup that you want, (for instance: Almond, blackberry, etc). Specific syrups, that are seasonal, are specific and limited to certain regions. (Sunbelt states/Midwest/West Coast, etc.) You need to know exactly what is in the drink. Don’t just say, “Cadbury Egg Creme Frappuccino”. We need to know the ingredients. Because we aren’t/will not/never will be, trained on the recipes, it is up to YOU to come prepared knowing exactly how many pumps of syrup, scoops of inclusions, pumps of base, go into your large ass caloric Frappuccino. If we happen to not know off the top of our heads, do not get upset. It is not our place to know these things. 
All that being said, Starbucks Coffee Company does not, has not, will not, endorse a “Secret Menu” of any sort. It is 100% fan-created. 

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Jun 23

I was shooting heroin and reading “The Fountainhead” in the front seat of my privately owned police cruiser when a call came in. I put a quarter in the radio to activate it. It was the chief.

“Bad news, detective. We got a situation.”

“What? Is the mayor trying to ban trans fats again?”

“Worse. Somebody just stole four hundred and forty-seven million dollars’ worth of bitcoins.”

The heroin needle practically fell out of my arm. “What kind of monster would do something like that? Bitcoins are the ultimate currency: virtual, anonymous, stateless. They represent true economic freedom, not subject to arbitrary manipulation by any government. Do we have any leads?”

“Not yet. But mark my words: we’re going to figure out who did this and we’re going to take them down … provided someone pays us a fair market rate to do so.”

“Easy, chief,” I said. “Any rate the market offers is, by definition, fair.”

He laughed. “That’s why you’re the best I got, Lisowski. Now you get out there and find those bitcoins.”

“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m on it.”

I put a quarter in the siren. Ten minutes later, I was on the scene. It was a normal office building, strangled on all sides by public sidewalks. I hopped over them and went inside.

“Home Depot™ Presents the Police!®” I said, flashing my badge and my gun and a small picture of Ron Paul. “Nobody move unless you want to!” They didn’t.

“Now, which one of you punks is going to pay me to investigate this crime?” No one spoke up.

“Come on,” I said. “Don’t you all understand that the protection of private property is the foundation of all personal liberty?”

It didn’t seem like they did.

“Seriously, guys. Without a strong economic motivator, I’m just going to stand here and not solve this case. Cash is fine, but I prefer being paid in gold bullion or autographed Penn Jillette posters.”

Nothing. These people were stonewalling me. It almost seemed like they didn’t care that a fortune in computer money invented to buy drugs was missing.

I figured I could wait them out. I lit several cigarettes indoors. A pregnant lady coughed, and I told her that secondhand smoke is a myth. Just then, a man in glasses made a break for it.

“Subway™ Eat Fresh and Freeze, Scumbag!®” I yelled.

Too late. He was already out the front door. I went after him.

“Stop right there!” I yelled as I ran. He was faster than me because I always try to avoid stepping on public sidewalks. Our country needs a private-sidewalk voucher system, but, thanks to the incestuous interplay between our corrupt federal government and the public-sidewalk lobby, it will never happen.

I was losing him. “Listen, I’ll pay you to stop!” I yelled. “What would you consider an appropriate price point for stopping? I’ll offer you a thirteenth of an ounce of gold and a gently worn ‘Bob Barr ‘08’ extra-large long-sleeved men’s T-shirt!”

He turned. In his hand was a revolver that the Constitution said he had every right to own. He fired at me and missed. I pulled my own gun, put a quarter in it, and fired back. The bullet lodged in a U.S.P.S. mailbox less than a foot from his head. I shot the mailbox again, on purpose.

“All right, all right!” the man yelled, throwing down his weapon. “I give up, cop! I confess: I took the bitcoins.”

“Why’d you do it?” I asked, as I slapped a pair of Oikos™ Greek Yogurt Presents Handcuffs® on the guy.

“Because I was afraid.”


“Afraid of an economic future free from the pernicious meddling of central bankers,” he said. “I’m a central banker.”

I wanted to coldcock the guy. Years ago, a central banker killed my partner. Instead, I shook my head.

“Let this be a message to all your central-banker friends out on the street,” I said. “No matter how many bitcoins you steal, you’ll never take away the dream of an open society based on the principles of personal and economic freedom.”

He nodded, because he knew I was right. Then he swiped his credit card to pay me for arresting him.

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Jun 14


all of these are very important

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